The Difference Between Favoritism and Grace

Joseph assumed his father’s love made him special. He assumed his dreams confirmed his greatness. But Joseph had never experienced grace—only favoritism. And there’s a big difference:

Favoritism inflates the ego. Grace humbles the heart.

Favoritism lifts one person up by putting others down. Grace lifts everyone by giving freely.

Favoritism is earned (or manipulated). Grace is a gift.

And because Joseph had never known grace, he didn’t know how to give it. Instead of asking, “What is God doing with these dreams?” he assumed “This means I’m the main character.”

And it showed.

The Problem with the Coat and the Dreams

Joseph’s coat was a walking status symbol. The Hebrew term ketonet passim is unclear—it could mean a multicolored coat, a long-sleeved robe, or an embroidered tunic. Whatever it was, it meant Joseph wasn’t expected to work like his brothers.

The moment Joseph walks into the room, everybody knows he’s the favorite.

And then he starts talking about his dreams—the ones where everyone bows to him.

Dream #1: "My grain bundle stood up, and yours all bowed down to mine."

Dream #2: "The sun, moon, and eleven stars all bowed to me."

Joseph doesn’t just have these dreams—he shares them with zero awareness of how it sounds. And that’s the problem.

Joseph assumes that his father’s favoritism means he is destined for greatness. But what he doesn’t realize is that God is about to strip away his pride so that he can learn real grace.

Losing the Coat to Gain Grace

God had big plans for Joseph. But before Joseph could wear the royal robe in Pharaoh’s court, he had to lose the coat of privilege in his father’s house.

Joseph had to be:

✅ Stripped of his robe

✅ Thrown into a pit

✅ Sold into slavery

✅ Falsely accused and imprisoned

Before he could ever lead, he had to learn humility.

Before he could give grace, he had to receive it.

And that’s how God works.

Maybe you’re in a season where you feel like you’re losing something.

A job, a relationship, a dream, a position, a plan.

Maybe life feels unfair—like things are being taken from you.

What if God isn’t punishing you? What if He is preparing you?

Joseph thought his coat made him special. But in the end, he found something better than favoritism—he found grace.

Where Do You See Yourself in Joseph’s Story?

Maybe you’ve been given favor, and it’s made you proud.

Maybe you’ve lost something, and you don’t understand why.

Maybe God is stripping something away—not to hurt you, but to shape you.

Because one way or another—God will strip away what you think makes you special so He can replace it with what truly makes you His.

Joseph’s story didn’t end in a pit—it ended in God’s purpose.

And so can yours.

By Pastor Tim